Earlier this month, we had our first breakfast morning session with Kim Barnes on handling difficult conversations In the workplace. We had such fantastic feedback that we decided to reach out to Kim to guest write a feature bold post on the subject matter!

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With so many going currently trying to overcome the whirlwind that has been 2023 so far, we know how much founders require the right mechanisms to conduct the more awkward conversations we’d all happily avoid, but with Kim’s guidelines, hopefully these conversations should be a lot easier to handle.

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We all know the feeling when we’re faced with a difficult conversation: your heart starts to race, you might get butterflies in your stomach, or your palms might get sticky.

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It could be a challenging encounter with a demanding investor, a bad-tempered supplier, or a tricky team member: when you’re put on the spot, the adrenaline starts to flow and you worry you’re going to lose your cool.

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You might feel as though you’re on the back foot, but there are strategies you can use in advance to help you stay in control and get the outcome you need.

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⚡Managing the conversation

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If the conversation matters, take a moment to map its flow. Where do you need to be at the end? How would you like it to run? If it goes off-track how will you bring it back?

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With this in mind, plan how you will start. The first few minutes give you a vital opportunity to set the tone, the context, and your goals. Have a note of key questions to hand; not just the important ones you need to cover, but also some ‘holding questions’, such as, ‘Can you tell me more?’ or ‘Why do you think that is?’

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These are all useful ways of slowing the pace and keeping the conversation (and yourself) anchored. And consider an exit strategy: if you don’t get to where you need to be, or if emotion gets the better of either of you, how will you wrap it up?

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⚡Managing yourself

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Staying grounded and focused can be tough when you’re challenged. Take some deep breaths before you start the conversation to settle your thoughts, and remember to pause and breathe deeply as you go along.

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Make sure your posture is robust and shrug any tension out of your shoulders before you begin. Watch your tone and make sure your language is personal and connected rather than abstract. Be a very good listener, remaining engaged throughout and acknowledging what you’ve heard. Take a pause before responding, and don’t be afraid to stop for water or a break if you need it. The other person will probably be grateful!

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⚡Managing the other party

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You’re not responsible for the other person and how they deal with the conversation, but there’s a lot you can do to ensure you both stay connected and aligned to the priorities you set out at the start.

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Build consensus by restating shared goals, and check in as you go along (‘is that ok/clear? I hope that sounds manageable?’).

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Clarify or paraphrase anything tricky or rhetorical as a way of slowing things down and building understanding. And at the end, sum up any

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agreement, decisions, or new information and outline next steps.

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Kim Barnes👋

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PS: You can follow and learn more about Kim here:

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LinkedIn

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Website

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